Why Should I Trust Research?

Have you ever felt lost in the sea of parenting advice? One moment, you’re told to embrace gentle parenting; the next, someone swears by tough love. ‘

The struggles of modern parenting

The truth is, nobody holds the ultimate answer. As modern parents, we are overwhelmed by the sheer amount of information coming at us from all directions. Social media, friends, family members—everyone has an opinion, and they’re not shy (or subtle) about sharing it.his endless stream of often-conflicting advice leaves many parents feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or even paralyzed. Who do you listen to? How do you know what really works?

The pressure to “get it right” when raising your kids can feel crushing, and amidst all the noise, it’s easy to lose your own sense of direction.

My Personal Journey

I get it—I’ve been there too. When my daughter, Emilia, was born, it felt like everyone had an opinion on how I should raise her. From friends to family members, even casual acquaintances, the advice kept pouring in:

“Never ignore her crying. React immediately”

or

“Wait a few moments before picking her up. It’ll teach her indepedance from the first days”

At times, the contradictory advice made me feel like I was failing. I found myself questioning every decision and comparing myself to other moms. The postpartum hormonal flood, combined with a lack of sleep, only made things worse. I nearly lost trust in myself.

But then, I remembered something important: I’m a researcher. And in research, there’s one golden rule—never rely on a single, subjective opinion. Good research is grounded in evidence and systematic inquiry, not fleeting personal insights. This realization became my anchor, helping me sift through the noise and focus on what truly mattered for my child’s well-being.

I also realized another key truth: I am the mother of my child. I have instincts and intuition, and I must trust myself above all. This became my guiding principle.

And so I did. However, being a reseacher, I couldn’t resist the urge to analyze and cross-check information—be it verified evidence, expert opinions, or even friends’ experiences. I created my own “filter” for the flood of advice, which helped me identify theories and practices that aligned with my values, parenting style, and personality.

Lessons Learned

Through this process, I discovered two crucial insights:

• There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. Different theories and styles have their merits and drawbacks, but ultimately, it’s up to each parent to decide which path works for them.
• Research-based information offers immense value when navigating the complexities of parenting.

I’ve found myself particularly drawn to modern parenting approaches, which emphasize emotional intelligence, empathy, and individuality. As someone who has spent much of my life working on personal growth and healing childhood misconceptions, I see these methods as transformative.

For example, studies show that responding with compassion during a child’s tantrum builds emotional resilience and strengthens the parent-child bond. Fifty years ago, tantrums were often dismissed or punished—practices that likely impacted emotional intelligence on a societal level.

Similarly, research debunks the myth that young children manipulate adults. Neuroscience shows that children lack the capacity for manipulation at a young age; instead, they express unmet needs or overwhelming emotions. This knowledge can be a game-changer when it comes to understanding your child and offering them support.

The Value of Research

Research doesn’t just explain why certain behaviors occur; it provides us with tools to respond in ways that nurture our children’s development. It’s like having a roadmap for parenting, offering evidence-based solutions and insights to help us raise resilient, emotionally intelligent individuals.

But if research is so valuable, why don’t more parents rely on it? The answer lies in its challenges.

The Challenges of Research in Everyday Parenting

1. Accessibility:
Most academic studies are hidden behind paywalls or buried in journals that are hard to access.

2. Complex Language:
Research is often written in academic language and highly technical terms, making it difficult for non-experts to understand or apply in everyday situations.

3. Theory vs. Practice:
Even when research is available, it often focuses on abstract theories rather than practical, actionable advice for parents.

4. Contradictory Findings:
Studies sometimes contradict one another, leaving parents unsure which path to follow.

My vision

So, where does this leave us? Research is a treasure trove of knowledge that can make parenting easier and more intentional. However, its insights are often hard to access or apply in daily life.

And this is something I take as a personal challenge. I want to promote research-driven methods in parenting and other areas of our lives, sharing this valuable knowledge with a wider audience. My hope is to contribute to building a better world and fostering a more conscious, compassionate society for future generations. Together, by becoming better versions of ourselves, we can make this vision a reality.

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Parenting is a journey, and we all walk our own paths. Have you ever found research that changed the way you parent? Or do you have a go-to strategy to filter the noise of advice around you? Share your experiences—I’d love to hear how you navigate this beautifully messy journey of parenting!